I'll Keep Finding You
by arysa13
Summary: When interdimensional travel goes wrong, Clarke must travel between worlds to get Bellamy back. An AU based on the Firebird trilogy by Claudia Gray.
1. SPLINTER

**PART ONE: SPLINTER**

* * *

It's the perfect night to get drunk, really, in Clarke's expert opinion. She's finished all her exams, Raven and Monty are a few tests away from completing their new invention, she's single and she's got her four best friends around her. Plus, Bellamy's leaving tomorrow and she's doing her best to forget it.

"Okay, so you're telling me, you just put this Firebird thing around your neck and you can transport into the body of yourself in any other parallel universe?" Octavia slurs from her spot on the floor. Raven and Monty started an impromptu presentation about their joint project about half an hour ago, and despite their drunkenness, it's actually been quite cohesive.

Jasper and Harper left an hour ago, narrowly missing this lecture. Clarke kind of envies them.

"Exactly," Monty grins. "Unless you're dead in that universe. Or don't exist."

"Wait so, just because you're dead in one universe, doesn't mean you're dead everywhere?" Octavia sits up.

"Uh, theoretically," Monty says nervously. Clarke catches Bellamy's eye. It's not hard to guess where Octavia's mind has leapt to. It's been a year since Lincoln's death, but they all know how hard Octavia still feels it.

"I want to try it," Octavia demands.

"Hold your horses, it's not done yet," Raven says. "We're not entirely sure it's safe to use."

"There's still a possibility there's a risk of uh, splintering," Monty agrees.

"Splintering? What's splintering?" Clarke asks. She's heard her housemates go off on many a tangent about the Firebird over the last four years, but she's never heard either of them mention splintering before.

"It's when your soul gets split into pieces and scattered over multiple different universes," Raven shrugs, like it's no big deal.

"Fuck no," Octavia grimaces, taking a sip of her beer before lying back on the ground. Clarke is surprised it was that easy to dissuade her. The five of them fall into an easy silence as they all take a sip from their respective drinks.

"Guys," Bellamy says. "As much fun as I'm having, I think I need to go to bed. I've got a long day tomorrow."

Clarke's stomach clenches. She'd almost forgotten about him moving to the other side of the country for a moment there, but with one simple statement, reality comes crashing down. He's going. She's not going to wake up to him singing badly while he cooks breakfast. She's not going to snuggle into his side and watch movies after a long day of classes. They aren't going to babysit the girl next door together, and tell her mom they gave her vegetables when really, they gave her pizza.

"No," she says, trying not to sound like a whiny three-year-old. "Don't go to bed yet." Morning will come quicker if they go to sleep. Bellamy tilts his head, gives her a sad smile.

"I'll see you in the morning," he says. He gets up, and Clarke feels her throat constrict. She wants to cry, but she swallows, managing to keep the tears at bay.

The other give him a chorus of goodnights, and he makes his way to his room.

"Can I crash here tonight?" Octavia asks. "I'm too drunk slash exhausted to go home."

"Yeah," Clarke says, standing up. "Here, have the couch. I think I'm going to hit the hay too." She's feeling too bummed out to continue drinking with the others anyway, she'll only bring them down. She hands Raven her half-finished drink and pads down the hall to her bedroom, not bothering to get changed or brush her teeth before collapsing onto her bed. Once her face is buried in her pillow, she lets her tears fall.

She's not lying there long when her door is pushed open and a stream of light lands on her face. She quickly wipes her tears on the back of her hand. The door closes, and Raven lies down on the bed next to her, spooning her. Clarke can't stop herself from crying again.

"Why does he have to go?" she whispers.

"I don't know, Clarke," Raven says. "Maybe you should ask him that."

"I can't," Clarke says. "He has to think I'm happy for him."

The girls fall silent for a moment before Raven speaks again.

"You know, he'd stay if you asked him to," she says softly. Clarke has no idea if Raven is right, but she knows she couldn't possibly ask him to do that. Whatever it is Bellamy wants, whatever he's looking for, it's his life, and he has to make his own decisions, no matter how much Clarke would like to change his mind.

* * *

Bellamy comes crashing into her room at 6am, waking her from her slumber. Raven must have disappeared some time during the night, because Clarke finds herself in bed alone.

"Clarke," he says, sounding tense and on edge. Clarke sits up groggily.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Did Octavia go home last night?"

"She slept on the couch," Clarke tells him.

"Shit," he says, rubbing his hand down his face. "Shit. She's not here."

"She's not here?"

"I think she took the Firebird," Bellamy says, panicking. "I have to go after her."

Clarke is really awake now.

"Okay, slow down," she says, getting out of bed. "You don't know that. She doesn't know how to use it. Maybe she just went for an early morning run."

Bellamy nods, but Clarke can tell he doesn't quite believe it.

"Let's go and check if both the Firebirds are still there."

The two of them hurry to Raven and Monty's lab, also known as the basement, and Clarke pulls open the cabinet where the Firebirds are kept. The cabinet that is usually locked, but now easily swings open. Her stomach drops. This is not a good sign.

Sure enough, there is only one Firebird hanging in the cabinet, the little metal ball mocking her, glinting where it hangs on a silver chain. She stares into the cabinet.

"Well?" Bellamy prompts.

"It's gone," Clarke confirms.

"Shit," Bellamy groans. "What if she got splintered? Give me the other one, I have to go and get her!"

"Just chill out," Clarke says. "We need to speak to Raven."

Just as she says the words, Raven appears at the bottom of the stairs. Monty is just behind her.

"Speak to me about what? What are you guys doing down here?" Raven frowns. "And why is that cabinet open?"

"Octavia's gone," Bellamy says. "She took the Firebird."

" _What_?"

"It's true," Clarke confirms.

"Oh no," Monty groans. "This is bad. This is very very bad."

"Has she been splintered?" Bellamy asks anxiously. "Is there any way to get her back?"

"We won't be able to tell if she's been splintered until we find her," Raven says, ever the level headed one. "Luckily, Monty and I installed a tracking mode on each of the Firebirds, so they can find each other."

"So I can go after her," Bellamy says.

"Bellamy," Clarke warns him. He can't just go flying off into another universe. Who knows what might happen to him?

"Clarke, I have to go after my sister. If anything happens to her…"

"You can go after her," Raven says. "Just let us make sure it really is safe to use. If she is splintered, a little extra time isn't going to matter. And if she's not, maybe she'll come back on her own."

Bellamy looks pained. He's tense all over, and Clarke can tell it's taking all his self-control not to just grab the Firebird and go racing after Octavia. But he nods, and Clarke breathes a sigh of relief.

"Okay," Raven nods at him. "It should only take a couple of hours."

She ushers Clarke and Bellamy back upstairs, claiming their presence will be a distraction.

"You okay?" Clarke asks Bellamy.

"I'll be better once we've found Octavia," he says. "I need some air."

Clarke nods and lets him go, heading towards her room. She's still in last nights clothes and she feels like she's starting to smell. She barely makes it two steps into her room before Raven is calling her, panicked.

Clarke runs back towards the basement, Raven meeting her at the top of the stairs.

"Where's Bellamy?" she asks urgently, grabbing Clarke by the shoulders.

"He just went outside," Clarke says. "Why?"

"He took the fucking Firebird."

"Fuck."

"Why are those Blakes so fucking reckless?" Raven groans.

"What can we do?"

"We can't do anything."

"What do you _mean_ we can't do anything?"

"We only made two Firebirds. It would take us weeks to build another one, maybe longer. We just have to wait and hope one of them comes back," Raven says.

" _Wait_?" Clarke repeats incredulously. "No. Start building."

"Clarke," Raven starts, exasperated.

"What if neither of them comes back, Raven? What then?" Clarke presses. Raven chews her lip. "Please," Clarke begs.

"Fine," Raven agrees. She heads back downstairs, while Clarke makes her way to the front yard. Just in case Bellamy hasn't gone. Maybe he's reconsidered.

She finds the yard empty though.

"Bellamy!" she calls, the wind catching her voice. No response. She feels sick to her stomach. What if he never comes back?

"Clarke?" a voice says, and Clarke looks to her right to see the girl next door poking her head over the fence.

"Hey, Madi," Clarke says. "Have you seen Bellamy?"

"No, sorry," the girl shakes her head. "Isn't he leaving today?"

"Yeah," Clarke says, a lump forming in her throat.

"You gonna tell him you're in love with him?"

"I'm not in love with him."

"Whatever you say, Clarke."

* * *

Raven and Monty work tirelessly all day, and halfway through the night. Clarke wants to tell them not to stop. But then she sees their tired, worried faces, and she realises they're doing the best they can. She pulls each of them into a hug before they head to their separate rooms to crash.

Clarke lies awake for hours, finally drifting off around 5am, only to be woken three hours later by someone shaking her awake.

"Bellamy?" she asks groggily. Light filters in through the gaps in the blind. Clarke blinks, trying to get her eyes to adjust.

"Close. It's Octavia."

Clarke sits bolt upright. "Octavia?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'm back. I went to Bell's room but he's not there."

Clarke wants to strangle her. "That's because he went after you!" Clarke snaps. "Didn't he find you?"

Octavia shakes her head slowly. "He came after me?"

"Of course he did! What did you think he was going to do?"

Octavia shrugs. "Maybe he'll come back when he realises I'm not there."

 _Maybe_ , Clarke thinks. _Or maybe he's been splintered and can't come back._ Or maybe he likes it better in some other universe and doesn't _want_ to come back.

"I just wanted to see Lincoln one last time," Octavia whispers. "Just once."

Clarke softens, noticing for the first time Octavia's red eyes and blotchy face. She's obviously been crying. "I know," Clarke says. "Give me the Firebird and go and get some rest."

Octavia hands the necklace over, and makes for the door. She turns back. "Good luck," she says, shutting the door on her way out.

Clarke looks at the silver ball, turning it over in her hand. It looks just like an ordinary necklace, the tiny buttons glittering like little white jewels. Each is labelled in tiny print. Finding the button that says TRACK, Clarke puts the chain around her neck and presses the button.

* * *

She lurches forward, her head spinning. She swallows, straightening, the momentary dizziness fading.

"Clarke? Are you okay?" someone asks. It's Raven. Not her Raven, of course. This universe's Raven. Only, as Clarke begins to get her bearings, she realises this universe can't be too different to her own. She's standing in a hallway at her university, the one she attends back in her own universe. Sunlight streams through the glass roof. Clarke has always loved the openness of the buildings on campus.

"I'm fine," Clarke says. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying since we'll both be done with exams today, we should invite some people over for drinks tonight," Raven says.

"Yeah, sounds good," Clarke agrees. "Um, what time is my exam again?"

Raven looks at her strangely. "10am. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Positive," Clarke says. She looks down at her watch. Her father's watch. So he's still dead in this timeline. _It doesn't matter,_ she reminds herself, _you're here for Bellamy_. The time reads 8:03am. She still has a couple of hours before the exam. If she can find Bellamy and get out of here by then, the real Clarke of this universe can do the exam, and she can return to her own body.

"Hey, I need to talk to Bellamy," Clarke says to Raven. "Do you know where he is?"

"Bellamy _Blake_?" Raven says incredulously. "What do you need to talk to him for?"

The way she says it makes Clarke's stomach clench. Is it strange for her to want to talk to Bellamy? Are they not friends in this universe? How can she explain to this Raven why she wants to talk to Bellamy when she has no idea what the relationship between this Clarke and this Bellamy is?

She has a thought then. Perhaps this Raven is also building an interdimensional travel device.

"Raven," Clarke says. "What is it that you and Monty are working on together again?"

"The Firebird?"

"Yes! The Firebird!" Clarke says gleefully. "It lets you travel between universes, right?"

"Do you ever listen to anything I say? It's _time travel_ ," Raven huffs. Clarke sighs in disappointment. "And it's nowhere near being done."

"Do you know where Bellamy is or not?"

"Probably in the library, where he works," Raven says, as if Clarke should already know this. "But I still don't know why—"

"I'll explain later!" Clarke calls, already running off in the direction of the library. She won't explain later, but it's easier to say that than to try and explain now. Now to just hope the library is in the same spot in this universe as it is in her own.

Thankfully, the university layout appears to be identical in both universities, and Clarke finds the library easily. She stops in the doorway, her heart skittering when she sees Bellamy working the front desk. He's smiling as he scans a few books for a student, chatting with the young freshman. She looks absolutely dazzled by him. Clarke smiles to herself.

Someone walks into her from behind and Clarke remembers why she's there.

"Don't stand in doorways," the guy grumbles as he pushes past her and into the library.

"Sorry," Clarke mutters. She walks towards the front desk and stands behind the freshman who's trying to flirt with Bellamy.

"Okay, see you next time, Fox," Bellamy winks, and the girl blushes as she takes her books and heads towards the exit. Clarke steps up to the counter and Bellamy's face immediately turns into a scowl.

"Bellamy, it's me," she says. But she already knows this isn't her Bellamy. Her Bellamy would never look at her with such disgust. She wonders what this Clarke could possibly have done to make him hate her so much.

"Princess Griffin," Bellamy spits. "What do you want?"

The venom in his voice stings, even though she knows it's not really him.

"Nothing," she says. Perhaps the real Bellamy is already back home. She's about to leave when she spots a glint of silver hanging around his neck. She reaches out and grabs it. The Firebird. She feels like she might be sick.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

She yanks the chain from around his neck, snapping it in two.

"What is that?" Bellamy asks in confusion.

"Never mind," Clarke says softly. He's been splintered. That's the only explanation. She has to get back to Raven and Monty so they can tell her how to fix this, how to get him back. She gives him one last look before disappearing into the rows of books. She finds a secluded corner and studies the pendant around her neck until she finds a button that says HOME. This Clarke is going to be confused as hell in a few seconds. She presses the button.

* * *

She's sitting on her bed, exactly as she was before she left, only now she has two Firebirds. The one around her neck, and the broken one she took from Bellamy. She throws back the covers and jumps out of bed.

"Raven! Monty!" she yells, hurrying out of her room.

"Clarke!" Monty calls back. He, Raven and Octavia rush upstairs from the basement, meeting her in the living room. "Octavia told us you went after Bellamy."

"Everyone in this house needs to stop being so goddamn reckless," Raven scolds, as if she's never done anything reckless in her life.

"Did you find him?" Octavia asks.

"He's been splintered," Clarke holds out her hand, revealing the broken Firebird. Raven immediately snatches it from her hand. "Raven," Clarke says. Her voice wobbles. She can't cry. She has to remain level headed so she can get Bellamy back. "Tell me what I need to do."

Raven sets up the Firebird for her, the working one. She fiddles around with the broken one for a few hours, getting as much information from it as she can.

"Okay," Raven says, handing Clarke the working Firebird. They stand around the work table in the lab, Monty and Octavia watching on anxiously. "From what Monty and I could gather, he's been split into five parts. That's manageable. You already know where the first part is. All you have to do to collect the piece of Bellamy's soul is press the Firebird against his skin, and squeeze. It will give him a slight shock, but the piece of our Bellamy will be stored in your Firebird."

"How do I find the other four Bellamys?"

"I've already programmed in the coordinates for the other four universes. The Firebird may not work properly, but at least it still stores all the information like it's supposed to," Raven says. "All you need to do to go to the next one is press the _go_ button." She points to it on the Firebird. "But you can't go backwards. You can only go to the next one, so make sure you've got him before you go."

Clarke nods. Raven pulls her into a hug. "Good luck," she whispers. Monty hugs Clarke next, and then Octavia, both wishing her luck.

"We'll try and fix the broken one while you're gone," Monty says. Clarke nods and smiles, not trusting herself to actually speak. She holds her thumb over the _go_ button. Taking a deep breath, she presses.

* * *

The dizziness hits her again, but at least this time she's sitting down. She looks down in front of her. Fuck. The exam. She looks up at the clock. 10:51am. She's still got an hour left, if her exams here run for the same time as her exams back home. She could just leave and go and find Bellamy, but as much as she's desperate to have him back, she's also not so heartless as to mess up her alternate self's life by running out on her final exam. She'll just have to do it.

Reading through the questions, she realises, somehow, that this exam is almost exactly the same as she's already done, and the Clarke of this world has already completed half of them. She finishes the exam in record time and hands it in, hoping it's good enough to pass. Now just to find Bellamy.

She heads back towards the library. It's only been a few hours, he'll probably still be working there. Halfway there, she's startled by her jacket pocket vibrating and playing a song she's never heard before. She stops, tentatively pulling a phone out of her pocket. Presumably hers.

Her stomach drops. Lexa's face stares back at her, smiling. There's a heart emoji after her name. Once upon a time there was a heart emoji next to Lexa's face in Clarke's own phone. Now her number isn't even in there. Clarke drags her thumb across the screen and puts the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she says.

"Hey, good, you're done with your exam. I need you to come and help me study for mine," Lexa says. No, _how did your exam go?_ No, _nice to hear your voice_. No pleasantries at all. The real Lexa had been much the same.

"Okay," Clarke says. "I just have to drop something off at the library and then I'll be right there."

Lexa ends the call without so much as a goodbye, and Clarke shoves the phone back into her pocket. She continues on to the library. Bellamy isn't at the front desk anymore, but that doesn't mean he isn't here. She starts searching the aisles for him, and finds him re-shelving books about three rows in.

"Bellamy," she says as she approaches. He looks up, frowning when he sees her.

"You again?" He goes back to putting books on shelves. "What do you want?"

"I need to show you something," she says. He eyes her suspiciously.

"Why are you even talking to me?" Bellamy scowls. "Normally you don't give me the time of day."

Clarke winces. She gets the feeling she wouldn't like this version of herself very much.

"Bellamy, can I ask you something?"

"You're going to anyway."

"Am I… a snob?" She braces herself for his answer. "Is that why you hate me?" He snorts in laughter.

"That's putting it lightly. Remember how you wrote that article saying it isn't fair that disadvantaged kids get given opportunities based on their background?"

Bellamy watches her for a second while she processes the information. "Also, you got my sister expelled because you helped her with an essay and then told her professor she plagiarised it from you. Ring any bells?"

Clarke sucks in a breath.

"Is that all you wanted?" Bellamy says bitterly.

Clarke shakes her head. "Give me your hand." There isn't anything she can do for this Clarke. She can only hope that one day she'll wake up and realise that she's a terrible person.

"My _hand_? No!" Bellamy says.

"Please, Bellamy," she says desperately. And maybe it's the piece of her own Bellamy in him, or maybe he's just a good person, but concern flickers in his eyes.

"What's going on, Clarke?"

"I wish I could tell you."

She pulls the firebird from around her neck. His eyes flash in recognition.

"That's the thing you took from me this morning. What is it?"

"A gateway to another dimension?"

"Fuck. You're completely insane."

"Probably." She lunges for his hand, pressing the Firebird against it and squeezing. Bellamy yelps and pulls his hand away. Clarke glances at the Firebird. The crystals glow orange for a second before returning to their white colour. She has what she needs.

"What the hell was that?"

Clarke puts the Firebird around her neck.

"Bellamy, I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through," she says. "In a few seconds I'm probably going to be very confused about what just happened here. But I know somewhere inside me there's good. So please don't give up on me yet."

Bellamy opens his mouth to speak, a confused expression on his face. Clarke presses the _go_ button before he can say anything, and then she's hurtling through time and space and into a completely unknown dimension.


	2. GOLDEN

**PART TWO: GOLDEN**

* * *

She falls into her new body. The dizziness still gets her, and she stumbles forward, smudging the paint on the canvas before her, and flicking paint on herself. She glances down to see the damage, and realises she's wearing what looks to be some kind of nineteenth century gown. Its high neck scratches at her chin, and she's wearing a corset so tight she can barely breathe.

"Your Highness," someone says. A dark-haired girl she recognises vaguely rushes to her side. "Are you alright?"

 _Your Highness?_

"I'm okay," Clarke tells her. "Maya," she suddenly remembers. She'd had a couple of classes with her back in her freshman year. Maya nods and retreats back to her own easel. Clarke glances around the room. There are two other women painting beside her, women she doesn't recognise. The room is big and open, the architecture intricate and ornate. Enormous windows face out over a crystal lake, glinting in the sunshine. The subject of her painting.

And if the way Maya had addressed her is anything to go by, apparently, she's royalty of some kind. She clutches her paintbrush tightly, trying to keep a clear head. This world is so completely different from the last two. She has absolutely no idea how Raven or Monty or any of her other friends fit into her life this time, or if they even exist here.

But Bellamy exists. That much she knows, or she wouldn't be here. Somewhere he's out there, a tiny piece of her own Bellamy trapped inside him. She just has to find him.

There's a knock on the door. Clarke hesitates, and glances at Maya. Maya looks at her expectantly.

"Come in," Clarke calls. The huge wooden door opens, and Jasper opens the door. Clarke feels herself grin in relief. Someone she knows properly.

"Your fiancé is here, Your Highness," Jasper says. Clarke looks at him blankly. "For your lunch date," he adds awkwardly.

"Of course," Clarke nods. "Thank you, Jasper."

Jasper nods and retreats, closing the door behind him. Maya and the other women, whom Clarke assumes to be some kind of ladies in waiting, put their brushes down and head for the door. She doesn't appear to be very close with these ladies, and Clarke wonders if she's also a horrible person in this universe, or whether being royalty just doesn't lend itself to making friends.

"Maya," Clarke calls. "Could you wait a moment?"

Maya stops and lets the other ladies exit. Clarke waits until the two of them are alone before she speaks. She needs to ask Maya some questions about this world. She needs to know what she's dealing with, before she goes out there and accidentally gets herself into some kind of situation she can't explain her way out of. It's one thing to act strangely when you're just a university student. When you're royalty, it's a whole other matter.

"My fiancé," Clarke decides to start with. "Do you like him?"

Maya, to her credit, doesn't look at all perturbed by the question. "He seems very nice. And he is very handsome," Maya says. That doesn't tell her much.

"Did I tell you where we're going for lunch?" Clarke tries again.

"You said he was keeping it a surprise," Maya says. Right, of course. Clarke decides this is futile. She does need someone to show her where to go though, as she has no idea where she's supposed to meet her fiancé, or how to get there.

"Will you walk with me to meet him?" Clarke asks. Maya cocks her head in confusion.

"Your bodyguard will walk you there, Your Highness," Maya says. "Bellamy." Clarke's heart clenches. _Bellamy. He's here._ She nods.

"You can go," Clarke says, dismissing Maya. Maya leaves the door open, and Clarke steps out into the hallway. Standing by the door is Bellamy, and Clarke feels a wave of relief wash over her. She beams at him, and he smiles in return. She has to stop herself from throwing her arms around him. It's probably not normal for a princess, or whatever she is, to hug their bodyguard.

"Ready, Your Highness?" he asks. Clarke nods. For a moment she thinks this will be easy, getting the piece of her Bellamy back. But as she studies this Bellamy, she realises he doesn't have any skin showing, other than his face. He wears a coat with a high collar, and black gloves on his hands. Even if Clarke tried to lunge for his face, she imagines he would be easily able to stop her from zapping him with the Firebird.

He leads her through hallways lined with paintings, lush carpet under feet. She supposes she lives in some kind of palace, being royalty and all. Having a bodyguard also must come with being royalty. She wonders if she's ever been attacked, if he's ever had to protect her, or whether its just a precaution.

"Bellamy?" she says.

"Yes, Princess?"

"What do _you_ think of my fiancé?"

Bellamy glances at her. "He's a good man, Your Highness."

"Would you ever lie to me?"

"Never."

* * *

Clarke is pleasantly surprised to find that her fiancé is none other than her childhood friend, Wells. She wonders if they're childhood friends here too. Is he royalty as well? She supposes he must be relatively highborn if they're allowed to be engaged. Or maybe that kind of thing doesn't matter here. She wonders if they're in love.

Wells meets her at the front entrance of the palace, and places a kiss on her cheek.

"Nice to see you," he says. "Shall we go?"

Clarke nods and Wells takes her hand, leading her outside and to a shiny black car. Despite the fact that it seems fashion has not progressed in the last three hundred years, technology has at least come a little further.

Bellamy follows them outside, opening the car door for Clarke before sliding into the front seat. It seems he's required to go everywhere with her. Wells, on the other hand, seems to be without any kind of security.

"Why don't you have a bodyguard?" she asks Wells as the car pulls away from the front of the palace and begins its journey down a long gravel driveway.

"Not this again," he sighs.

"Well, if I have one, shouldn't you have one?" Clarke presses.

"If it makes you happy I'll get one," he says. "But your family is the only one getting death threats."

Clarke grimaces. Are these death threats real concerns, or is it just something people in positions of power have to deal with?

"If we're getting married then you'll be part of this family," Clarke points out. Wells hesitates.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," he says. He lowers his voice so that he can't be heard by Bellamy or the driver. "I thought about what you said, and I think I'm going to do it."

Clarke stares at him blankly. "What did I say?"

"Elope."

" _Elope_?"

"Shh! Keep your voice down," Wells says. "You were right. I'm my father's only heir. What's he going to do, disinherit me because I marry someone he doesn't approve of? It will only take him a month or so to get over it. And then we can both be happy."

Clarke wants to ask him who he's eloping with, but it feels like something this Clarke might already know. Wells must take her silence for doubt, because he reaches out to rub her shoulder comfortingly.

"Hey," he says gently. "I know it's harder for you because you haven't found someone else yet. But we both agreed we don't want to marry each other. It isn't fair on either of us. It's just some agreement out parents made when we were born, and we shouldn't have to do whatever they say. We deserve to be happy."

"You're right," she says.

"But we'll still be friends," Wells grins. "And we can still enjoy having lunch together, right?"

"Right," Clarke smiles. She hopes this is what the Clarke of this world wants.

* * *

When Clarke enters the dining room that night, she stops dead, seeing who is seated at the head of the table.

"Dad?" she says, her voice cracking. He's _alive_.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he smiles. She can't stop herself this time. She runs to his side to hug him. He laughs as he hugs her back. "Everything okay?" he asks.

"Everything is perfect," she says. She takes a seat at the table across from her mother.

"I knew your father was your favourite," Abby smiles.

"Sorry, Mom," Clarke grins. If she could tell her mother that she hasn't seen her dad in seven years, she's sure she would understand. She glances at Bellamy, hovering in the corner. Her Dad alive, Bellamy at her side always. Perhaps this is the universe where she truly gets to be happy.

Bellamy disappears after dinner, and is replaced with another guard, much to Clarke's disappointment. Her mother refers to her as Byrne, no first name. Byrne and Abby's own night guard stand by the door of the parlour as Clarke and Abby play cards. Clarke wishes they could watch a movie instead. Though this world appears to have modern cars and electric lighting, and Bellamy has a handgun in a holster at his side, they are far behind her own in terms of entertainment and fashion. Clarke feels as though she's travelled back in time, not just through it.

When Clarke feels she can stand it no longer, she tells Abby she's tired, and Byrne walks her back to her room. A maid appears to help her undress. Clarke then dons a loose fitting white nightgown and crawls into bed. She lies awake, trying to think of a way to get the Firebird onto Bellamy's skin. Perhaps she could try and seduce him.

She's in bed for maybe half an hour when she hears a knock on the door. It's not just an ordinary knock either, but a very precise pattern, as if it's a secret knock worked out between two people.

Clarke slides out of bed and pads over to the door, opening it just a crack to peer out. Byrne is gone. Bellamy stands at the door. He's dressed differently now, the stuffy coat and gloves gone, replaced with a tight black t-shirt and black pants. Apparently normal clothes do exist in this world. Clarke finds her eyes glued to Bellamy's muscular arms.

"Bellamy?"

"Did you forget?" he asks, smiling.

"Forget?"

"Our night sessions," he says. Night sessions? His face falls. "Unless you changed your mind?"

"No!" Clarke says quickly. "Just let me get changed."

Bellamy nods and Clarke closes the door. She has no idea what night sessions are. She also has no idea what she's supposed to wear to said night sessions. She flings open the wardrobe and is faced with an array of extravagant dresses. She couldn't put these on by herself even if she wanted to. She closes the wardrobe and instead heads for a chest of drawers. She sifts through each drawer, finding jewellery, undergarments, painting supplies and just a bunch of dried flowers, until she reaches the bottom drawer. Folded underneath a spare blanket is a soft white shirt and a pair of black pants, as well as a pair of white lace up shoes. Perhaps they were put they specifically for this occasion.

Clarke strips off the nightgown and pulls on the shirt and pants, laces up the shoes and wrenches the door open so hard Bellamy practically jumps out of his skin.

"I'm ready," she says. He doesn't look confused by her choice of clothing, so she figures she's wearing the right thing.

Clarke follows Bellamy down a mostly dark hallway, lit only by dimmed lamps which appear periodically. He leads her down a staircase, and through a back door, until they're outside in the cool night air. The slight breeze sends goosebumps up Clarke's arms. Bellamy finally stops walking when they're at a fair distance from the palace, closer to the lake. The grass beneath their feet is perfectly maintained, and it looks soft enough to lie down in.

"Should we go over what I taught you last time?" Bellamy asks.

"That's probably best," Clarke says. "I'm afraid I've forgotten everything." Including what they're even doing out here. She has a feeling her parents wouldn't be too happy if they found out their daughter was out here in the middle of the night, alone with her male bodyguard. This doesn't exactly seem like the most progressive of worlds, if her betrothal to Wells and her suffocating gowns are anything to go by.

"I'm sure you haven't," Bellamy says. But he starts a recap of their previous session anyway, and it doesn't take Clarke long to realise what these sessions are about. He's teaching her self-defence. Clarke breaks out into a grin. She's taken self defence classes back home. This is something she actually understands. Obviously this Clarke had been worried about the death threats and asked her bodyguard to help her defend herself should she ever need to.

"Okay, I've got it," Clarke says, interrupting Bellamy's review.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure," Clarke says. "Let's practise."

Bellamy gives her a heart stopping smile, and shakes his head affectionately. Clarke readies herself for his attack. He comes at her, and within seconds she has him pinned on the ground. He laughs, his eyes twinkling, and Clarke gives him a pleased smile.

"Have you been practising without me?" he asks her. He brushes her hair from her face and she shivers.

"I'm just a natural," she tells him. She stands up and offers him her hand. He hesitates before taking it and allowing her to pull him up. He retracts his hand quickly once he's standing. _The Firebird_ , Clarke suddenly remembers. He's got plenty on skin on display now. That's the reason she's here. To retrieve the part of her Bellamy. Not to play princess in some other person's life. Next time she has him pinned she'll zap him with the Firebird, and then the real Princess Clarke Griffin can finish this lesson.

"I won't go so easy on you this time, then."

"Bring it on."

He lunges for her again, and they spar for a minute, until Bellamy gets the upper hand and has her flat on her back. He's much closer to her face than he was before, and he doesn't smile this time. Clarke's heart is racing and she's breathing heavy. Her eyes flick to his lips before she can stop herself. She feels her face heat up as she meets his eyes again.

"Clarke," he says hoarsely. _Clarke._ Not _Your Highness._ She's always loved the way her name sounds when he says it. She thinks he might kiss her then, and her whole body thrums with excitement.

"Your Highness!" someone calls from across the grounds, and Bellamy stands up hurriedly, helping Clarke with him. Byrne strides across the grounds towards them. Had she been watching them the whole time? She looks at Bellamy disapprovingly. "I think lesson time is over."

Clarke nods. She follows Byrne back towards the palace, throwing one last glance back at Bellamy as she goes.

* * *

She can't sleep. She feels like every nerve ending is on edge, and he stomach flips over every time she thinks about Bellamy's lips, an inch away from hers. She hates herself for it. She let herself get distracted by him, and she missed her chance to zap him with the Firebird. She doesn't even know why she _wanted_ to kiss him. It must be some pent-up desire from this version of Clarke that seeped through, because the real Clarke? She doesn't think of Bellamy like that. She loves him, of course. But she's not _in_ love with him. And she finds him attractive, because, who doesn't? But she's not actually _attracted_ to him. Right?

She must eventually get to sleep, because the next thing she knows, a maid is throwing open the curtains, letting sunlight come streaming in through the large windows. Clarke groans.

"Sorry, Your Highness," the maid apologises. "The Queen wished me to wake you. You're supposed to be riding in the parade this afternoon."

"This afternoon? What's the time?" Clarke asks.

"Three o'clock, Your Highness."

Clarke doesn't respond, just drags herself out of bed and allows the maid to dress her in a red and gold gown, and do her hair and make-up.

Bellamy is waiting for her outside her bedroom door.

"Your Highness," he bows his head, the picture of formality. A far cry from the way he was with her last night. He's all covered up again, high neck and gloves. She'll just have to wait until they can have another training session. Provided Byrne still allows them to after last night.

"Bellamy," Clarke says. She wants to talk to him. Really talk to him. It's only been two days since she's seen the real Bellamy, but it already feels like a lifetime.

"Yes, Your Highness?"

She furrows her brow in frustration. "Never mind," she sighs. The real Bellamy would badger her until she told him what was wrong. This Bellamy just nods, and begins walking down the hall, leaving her to follow.

A car takes her and Bellamy to a park, where people are swarming around floats and getting into formation, ready to march in this parade. What the parade is for, Clarke has no idea.

A woman with a clipboard rushes over to her as Bellamy opens the car door and Clarke steps out.

"Your Highness," the woman curtseys. "Please follow me to your float."

The float is the most extravagant one there of course. It features a giant golden griffin, adorned with real feathers, painted gold. Below the head of the griffin is a red and gold throne. Lighted torches surround the float. The clipboard woman motions for Clarke to climb up and sit on the throne. Bellamy stands right beside her, his hand on his gun the whole time.

"Are you expecting trouble?" Clarke asks him.

"Always prepare for trouble at events like these," Bellamy says gruffly. Clarke nods and they fall into silence. It's nearing 5pm before the procession starts moving, the sun hanging low in the sky. As they pass crowds of people on either side of the road, Clarke smiles and waves like she's seen royalty do on TV.

"Bellamy, can we have training again tonight?" Clarke asks, still smiling and waving.

"Tonight?" Bellamy hesitates. "I'm not sure, Your Highness. Byrne wasn't very happy with me." He pauses. "I'm sorry, by the way," he says quietly. "I didn't mean to… I crossed a line."

"You didn't," Clarke points out. He doesn't say anything for a moment.

"I very nearly did," he says finally, and Clarke feels her insides clench. So he was going to kiss her. And why does the thought thrill her so much? "Your Highness," he tacks on. She looks at him.

"Why don't you ever call me by my name?"

"It's not proper."

"But we're alone," she points out. There are thousands of people surrounding them, but they may as well be alone. No one can hear their conversation. "I like hearing you say my name," she says, her voice low. His dark eyes flash.

"Clarke," he says, in that deep, gravelly voice. He opens his mouth to say something else, but he's cut off by a loud gunshot. Feathers rain down over them, and Bellamy immediately throws himself over Clarke, while the crowd screams.

"Are you okay?" he shouts.

"Yes!"

Another shot.

"We have to get you out of sight. There's a compartment under the float."

Covering her with his body, he drags her towards a trapdoor under the giant griffin. Another shot. Bellamy stumbles. His weight falls on her.

"Bellamy?"

"Get to the trapdoor, Clarke," Bellamy says. His voice is strained. He falls. Red blooms from his chest. Clarke immediately presses her hands to the wound, panic rising in her throat.

"Bellamy!" she cries desperately.

"Clarke, go," he says, putting his hand over hers. Tears form in her eyes, and immediately spill onto her cheeks.

"No! I can't leave you. I can save you. My mom's a doctor, I know first aid!" she babbles, leaning over him.

"You're not making sense," he groans. "Go, before they get you too."

She can't save him, she knows that. And if she lets him die, her Bellamy dies too.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers. She rips his coat and shirt open, revealing his chest. Bellamy is too far gone to protest, or wonder what the hell she's doing. She presses the Firebird to his chest, her hands shaking and covered in his blood. She squeezes, letting the shock go through his body. Bellamy barely seems to register it.

Clarke sobs, pulling away. It's time to go now. Bellamy grabs her hand, surprisingly tightly, like he's not fading away before her very eyes.

"Clarke," he says quietly. "I love you."

Clarke presses the go button.


	3. SPACE

**(please don't be disappointed)**

* * *

 **PART THREE: SPACE**

* * *

There's no dizziness this time, but she jolts into her new body so hard it leaves her breathless. She's sitting on a log by a fire, the world slowly getting dark around her. Her whole body aches. Her heart aches. She's just watched her best friend die, and now she's been thrust into another foreign place.

She tries to tell herself it's not real. He's not really dead. That was some other version of Bellamy, and he was going to die anyway. It's not her fault. Her Bellamy is still saveable.

Clarke swallows. She has to forget the last world. It's over. She needs to figure out where she is, and where Bellamy is. She looks down at herself. The clothes she's wearing are rough and worn, and frankly, they don't smell that great. Across the fire from her sits a familiar face.

"Madi?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Bellamy?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady. She cannot cry. Madi looks at her like she's lost her mind. Clarke doesn't understand. Does Bellamy not exist here? But he must, otherwise she wouldn't be here. One of his pieces is here. Then maybe they don't know him here. Or maybe Madi just doesn't know him.

Eventually though, Madi just points up at the sky. Clarke tilts her head up. Above her she can see the sky through the trees, one star shining on a backdrop of amber and navy. Does Madi mean to say he's in the sky? Is he dead here too? Is she too late?

"He's in space, remember?" Madi tells her slowly.

 _Space_?

Clarke looks back to Madi, trying to process what the girl has just told her. He's in space. Clarke feels her heart sink. It doesn't matter how or why he's there, only that he's as far away from her as any person can be.

"When's he coming back?" Clarke asks.

"You say any day now," Madi says. Clarke nods. She can wait a few days. "But you've been saying any day now for about a year."

A _year_?

"Well, can we get to him?" she asks, desperate now. Madi shakes her head slowly.

"Clarke?" Madi asks, clearly confused. Clarke feels grief rising in her chest, an overwhelming sense of despair. How is she ever going to get him back now?

"Are you okay?" Madi asks. Clarke shakes her head, trying to calm her breathing. "Do you want me to tell you the story again? You said it was good the last time I told you."

Clarke nods fiercely, not trusting herself to speak. Anything to clear her mind, to give her some kind of context for why she's sitting in a forest with a kid. Why Bellamy isn't by her side, where he's supposed to be.

As Madi speaks, Clarke begins to realise the story she's telling isn't just a story. It's a tale of truth, something Madi has heard a thousand times, probably from Clarke herself. It's an epic legend, and a tragic history. So many of the things Madi says leave Clarke wondering, but at the root of it all, she can see one haunting truth. They're alone. Everyone she's ever known or loved is gone. In space, or underground, and there's no way to get to either of them.

As Madi finishes her tale, Clarke finds herself crying again. It seems to have become quite a habit lately.

"Clarke, are you okay?" the girl asks worriedly. She's probably wondering why Clarke seems like she's hearing this story for the first time.

"I'm fine," Clarke says, wiping at her eyes. "I just need a minute."

Madi nods and Clarke stands and walks through the trees. The sun is setting fast now, darkness truly enveloping the world around her. Clarke doesn't walk very far before she's at the tree line. In front of her lies a wasteland, stretching on to the horizon. Clarke doesn't think she's ever seen anything so bleak, and yet somehow so beautiful. She looks to the sky, now dotted with stars.

"Bellamy," she whispers. "Are you out there?"

The stars blink back at her. The night is silent. Clarke hugs herself. She doesn't think she's ever felt so hopeless, so alone. In her own world, Bellamy is leaving her. In another, he hates her guts. And only moments ago she'd witnessed his death in another, the weight of which still rests heavy on her heart. Now she's here, in some kind of post-apocalyptic nightmare, and Bellamy is thousands of miles away from her. Reaching him seems impossible.

 _Are we always destined to be apart?_

Clarke fiddles with the Firebird around her neck. She feels hollow. She can't really see a point to a world without Bellamy. And what if it _is_ their destiny to always be apart? If she stays here, she may be waiting for him forever. Maybe he'll die in space. Maybe he's already dead. But if she's goes, maybe she can see him, one last time. Octavia's expedition to see Lincoln suddenly makes so much more sense to Clarke now.

The sense of despair is overwhelming.

She presses go.


	4. INEVITABLE

**PART FOUR: INEVITABLE**

* * *

The first thing Clarke feels when she slams into her new body is guilt. Guilt and regret. She's left him behind. How _could_ she? What if there had been a chance she could reach him? She should've tried harder. She feels sick to her stomach.

She's on a plush couch, facing a widescreen TV. She doesn't recognise the show that's on. It seems like she's in an apartment, modern looking, a colour scheme of greys and whites and some very pale blue. It must be her own apartment if she's sitting here by herself watching TV. She needs to find Bellamy. She must have a phone somewhere, with his number in it. She's wearing pyjamas and doesn't have any pockets, but a bit of digging finds a phone down the side of the couch. The screen lights up at her touch, and she finds Bellamy's face smiling back at her. This Clarke has him as her lock screen. Her heart skips a beat.

She starts at the sound of a toilet flushing somewhere else in the apartment. She's not alone. She stares in the direction of the sound, down a hallway she can only see the entrance to. She hears the sound of running water, then the tap switches off. Heavy footsteps get louder as someone approaches. He steps into her line of vision and she stops breathing for a second. Bellamy.

Clarke jumps off the couch and runs to him, throwing her arms around his neck. Tears well in her eyes.

"I was only gone a minute," he chuckles, putting his arms around her in return. Clarke doesn't ever want to let go. He kisses the top of her head and she presses her lips to his shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asks. Clarke breathes him in, taking note of everything about him, his smell, the feel of his soft shirt against her face.

"Yeah," she murmurs. She reluctantly pulls away. Bellamy looks at her in concern.

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

"No, I just missed you," Clarke tells him. Bellamy grins. He leans in, his lips getting dangerously close to hers. Clarke freaks out, jumping out of the way.

"What are you doing?" she asks, her heart pounding.

"I was going to kiss you," Bellamy says, looking bewildered. "Usually you like it when I do that."

"Usually?" Clarke swallows. Are they… _together_?

"Are you sure everything is okay?"

Clarke nods. Bellamy reaches for her hand and she lets him take it. Her eyes widen as she notices for the first time the enormous diamond on her ring finger, and right next to it is a white gold wedding band.

"We're married," Clarke says dumbly. It's a lot to take in. Bellamy laughs.

"Sometimes I can't believe it either," he smiles. Clarke looks up at him, and his eyes are so deep and so soft, she could melt in them. "But we are. Which means you have to tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing," Clarke says quickly. She smiles. "Nothing. Everything's perfect."

Her smile must convince him, because he drops it. "Okay," he says. "Now are we going to finish watching this show? Because I'm desperate to find out which bad singer is going home tonight."

He keeps his hand in hers as they walk back to the couch, and he pulls her into his lap. She rests her head against his chest and closes her eyes, his arms around her. Feeling safe and comfortable, she lets herself fall asleep like that.

* * *

She wakes up comfortable and warm in a king size bed. Light filters in through the skylight and she watches as birds fly overhead. She turns her head to see Bellamy lying next to her. She smiles. She could get used to this. Would it be so bad if she were to just stay in this universe forever?

She gazes at him for a while, letting her eyes continue to linger even as he starts to wake up. They're married in this universe, she's allowed to stare without it being weird. He opens his eyes and smiles sleepily when he sees her looking at him.

"Are you watching me sleep?" he murmurs.

"Maybe," Clarke smiles. "Did you carry me to bed?"

"Yeah," he says. "You really went out cold last night."

"Tired, I guess." All that dimension hopping. Bellamy pushes himself up onto an elbow.

"As long as you're not too tired for tonight," he says.

"Tonight?"

"Have you seriously forgotten?" he laughs. He places a hand on her belly. "I knew pregnancy brain was a thing but I didn't know it started happening so early."

 _Pregnancy_? Clarke's eyes widen. Holy shit. Not only is she married to Bellamy in this universe, apparently she's also pregnant with his baby.

"I'm pregnant?" she says wondrously, placing her own hand on top of his.

"Well, that's what you told me," Bellamy raises his eyebrows, amused. "Unless you just made it up so I wouldn't leave you."

Clarke's eyes dart to his. "You were going to leave me?"

Bellamy looks aghast. "No, of course not! I was just kidding. I would never leave you."

A pang of guilt echoes in Clarke's chest. Bellamy studies her cautiously.

"Clarke, are you really sure you're okay?" he asks. "Because we can cancel tonight if you want. We can save the announcement for another time."

"No, I want to tell everyone," Clarke says. She has no idea who everyone is, but if this Clarke had plans for tonight, she's not going to stand in the way.

"I love you," Bellamy tells her. Clarke feels like she should say it back, but the words stick in her throat. Instead she just smiles. Bellamy leans down to kiss her, and this time she lets him. He's so soft with her, his lips savouring hers, his tongue just gently brushing hers. When was the last time she was kissed like this? Has she _ever_ been kissed like this?

It ignites something in her, and she opens her mouth, kissing him more deeply. His hand slides under her pyjama top, brushing her side. She tenses up when he reaches her breast, and he stops, pulling away.

"Hey," he says, concerned. "You okay?"

Clarke wishes he would stop asking her that. "I'm fine," Clarke says. "I just don't really feel like it."

"Okay," Bellamy nods. "I'm sorry." Clarke rolls out of bed and makes a hasty exit. She closes the door behind her and searches for the bathroom. Finding it, she sits down on the closed toilet lid and bursts into tears.

Clarke is sure she's never hated herself more. She's enjoyed kissing Bellamy, like _really_ enjoyed it. And yet part of her is acutely aware that it's not _her_ Bellamy, and she feels like she's cheating on him, even though they aren't even _together_. And she hates that she's realising all too late how much she wants them to be together. And that her first kiss with Bellamy was with the wrong one. And most of all that he's gone. He's _gone, gone, gone._ She rests her head against the wall, sobbing.

There's a knocking at the door.

"Clarke."

"I'm fine," Clarke calls, sniffing. She wipes her eyes on the back of her thumbs. "It's just hormones or something."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

Clarke stands up and opens the door. Bellamy holds out his arms and she collapses into them.

* * *

Clarke distracts herself with helping Bellamy set up for their dinner tonight, though he insists he said he would do everything.

It's nice, being this way with him. A domestic couple. If she tries hard enough, she can almost pretend it's real, and that she's not an imposter in someone else's life.

The first of the guests arrive at 6pm exactly, and it's her mom and Kane. She lets them ask her question after question; how is she? How is work? How was their weekend away? Did she see that video of the guy playing a trumpet upside down on a monkey bar?

Clarke just answers the affirmative for every question. It seems easier to just go along with everything than to accidentally ask a question that this Clarke would already know the answer to.

More people arrive, Raven, Wells, Monty and Harper, Jasper and Maya, Octavia and Lincoln, Miller and Jackson. The apartment is soon full of familiar voices, chatting, putting her at ease. They sit around a brand new dining table and Bellamy brings out the roast lamb.

Clarke doesn't say much throughout dinner, preferring to let the company lead the conversation. The banter is light and everyone gets along perfectly. Clarke makes a note to do this more often when she gets home.

She helps Bellamy clear away the plates and he places an affectionate kiss on her temple.

"You ready to tell them?" he asks. Clarke hesitates. She wonders if this is really her news to tell. But how can she say no? She nods and Bellamy smiles, leading her back to the table. They remain standing, hand in hand.

"What's for dessert?" Jasper asks.

"Uh, before we get to dessert," Bellamy says. "Clarke and I have something we'd like to tell you." He looks to Clarke. She hesitates, all eyes on her, watching her expectantly. She's about to speak, when Raven lurches forward violently. Clarke's eyes whip to her and they make eye contact. She drops her gaze to Raven's neck, and sure enough there is a pretty silver chain hanging around it.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asks Raven. Raven looks to Clarke.

"Actually, I'm not feeling that well," she says. "Um, Clarke, would you show me to the bathroom? I… forget where it is."

Clarke nods, and Raven stands up, following Clarke down the hall. They say nothing to each other until Clarke has locked the bathroom door behind them.

"Oh my god, you're okay," Raven says, pulling Clarke into a hug. She quickly pulls back, leaving her hands on Clarke's shoulders. "Wait, it is you right?"

"It's me," Clarke confirms. "What are you doing here?"

"We had no way of knowing if everything was going to plan or not," Raven says. "We fixed the other Firebird, so I tracked you here. What's going on? How many pieces do you have left?"

"Raven…" Clarke says slowly, a lump rising in her throat.

"What's wrong?"

"I—" she starts. She can't say it. "I fucked up," she finally whispers. "It's over. We can't get him back."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he was in fucking space," Clarke says. She can hear the desperation in her own voice. "He was in space and I was on the ground and I left. I just left him there." She thinks she's about to cry again.

"It's okay, it's okay," Raven says soothingly, pulling Clarke back into a hug.

"How is it okay? We can't go back! And even if we could, how the fuck are we supposed to get to him in space?"

"We can go back," Raven says, pulling back to look Clarke in the eyes.

"What?" Clarke says. Hope bubbles in her chest. "But you said—"

"I said you can't go _backwards_ ," Raven clarifies. "As in, there is no button to automatically take you back the world you were just in. But I can put the coordinates back in."

Relief floods over her. It's not over. He's not gone. There's still hope.

"Okay," Clarke says, giving Raven a watery smile. "But he's still in space. And I was on the ground."

"Is he in space by himself?"

Clarke thinks back to Madi's story "No… no, he's not alone. He's with friends. Madi didn't say who…"

"Madi? Like our next-door neighbour?"

"Yeah," Clarke laughs. Laughing is a lot easier now that she doesn't have the weight of an anvil resting on her chest.

"Clarke, don't worry," Raven says, determined. "I will find someone in space with him. If I have to send a hundred different people to that universe to find someone who's with him, I will. You just get the rest of him, okay?"

Clarke nods. Raven looks down to Clarke's left hand. "Nice ring, by the way," she smirks. Clarke flushes. "You guys could be happy in our universe too, you know. If you just tell him how you feel."

"Maybe." Clarke isn't convinced Raven is right. But she's also not convinced she's wrong.

"I'll see you when you get back," Raven says. She reaches for the Firebird around her neck, and in the next moment the necklace has disappeared, and Clarke is left standing with an unfamiliar Raven. A very confused, unfamiliar Raven.

"Shit, something weird just happened," Raven says.

"You said you weren't feeling well," Clarke says.

"Yeah," Raven nods. "I remember."

"You remember?"

Raven nods. "Clarke, this is going to sound crazy… but it's like I remember the last ten minutes happening, but I don't remember actually _doing_ it."

Clarke gapes at her. Is it possible the host bodies are actually _aware_ while she's inside them?

"Maybe you just need to lie down," Clarke suggests. She has to get out of here as soon as possible. The ethical implications of what she's doing just became a whole lot more confusing.

"I'll be fine," Raven says. Clarke nods and the two of them head back to the dining table.

Bellamy is sitting down again, and it seems like he's taken it upon himself to serve dessert while Clarke and Raven were out of the room.

"Everything alright?" Bellamy asks.

"Fine, fine!" Raven says. "Maybe I've just had too much to drink."

The girls take their places at the table and dig into the pudding that Bellamy made.

"So what was this announcement?" Abby asks, reminding everyone of where they left off before Raven and Clarke had disappeared. Clarke looks to Bellamy, hesitating. More than ever she feels like this isn't her news to tell.

"Bellamy and I have decided to get a cat," she says. She looks at Bellamy apologetically, but he doesn't seem too disappointed. He raises an eyebrow at her, but accepts her decision not to tell everyone.

"A cat? What is wrong with you? You should be getting a dog," Raven scoffs.

"I agree with Raven," Miller adds, and the table descends into a mad debate about whether cats or dogs are better.

Clarke waits for an opportunity to use the Firebird without being noticed, but one never comes. She doesn't want to draw attention to herself of the Firebird, and giving Bellamy an electric shock in the middle of a party might be a bad idea. She'll just have to wait until their guests are gone.

She enjoys the rest of the night. With the knowledge that there's still a chance she can get Bellamy back, it's much easier to just enjoy the company of her friends. She finds it strange, but also kind of comforting, that even in an entirely different universe than her own, she's still managed to find these people and keep them in her life. Perhaps some things are inevitable.

Abby and Kane are the first to leave, and after that everyone else begins to trickle out, with Jasper and Maya being the last to go. It's almost midnight by then, and Clarke and Bellamy are both beat.

Clarke takes her time getting ready for bed, and by the time she crawls in next to Bellamy, he's already dead to the world. She watches him for a moment, a small smile on her lips. She allows herself this small indulgence, after all, it may be the only time she ever gets to do this. But then she sighs, knowing that Bellamy, the real Bellamy, _her_ Bellamy, is waiting for her.

She presses the Firebird to this Bellamy's chest and squeezes. It glows orange for a moment, a tiny spark in the dark room, giving Bellamy a small electric shock. He doesn't wake. Clarke puts the necklace back around her neck. She wonders what this Clarke is going to think once she's left her body. Maybe she'll think she's going crazy. Maybe it will all seem like a strange dream.

Clarke takes a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for whatever's next. Then she presses the go button one last time.

* * *

 **Note: Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying this fic! I would love some suggestions for what the last world should be if you have any!**


	5. INTANGIBLE

**PART FIVE: INTANGIBLE**

* * *

She's flying. At least, it seems that way at first. She can feel the air rushing against her face, her hair a tangled mess as it flies out behind her. It takes her a moment to realise she's on the ground. Well, she's in a car. The top's down, and when she looks to her right, Bellamy is behind the wheel. Clarke grins. The speed is exhilarating. Her heart pounds and she can feel the adrenalin coursing through her veins. She laughs, her joy bubbling over. Bellamy turns to look at her. He smiles, and Clarke's heart clenches.

"We're almost there," he says, raising his voice over the sound of the wind. Clarke just grins wider.

The car continues to fly through the night, along a road that barely seems to bend at all. Flat earth stretches out on either side of them, not a single tree or building marring the view to the horizon. In front of them, mountains on a starry backdrop. Clarke turns her head to look behind her, and she can see tall skyscrapers of an unfamiliar city, sparkling against the night sky. That must be where they've come from.

The car itself is much more high-tech than Clarke has ever seen before. The dashboard glows with a million different buttons, all more unfamiliar than the next.

They don't speak, Bellamy is focused on the road, and Clarke doesn't want to say anything that might be considered weird for this Clarke, so she's left alone with her thoughts. She studies Bellamy carefully. She doesn't want to zap him while they're driving, but according to Bellamy they're almost at their destination anyway. His arms are bare in a white t-shirt, so it shouldn't be too hard to get the last piece of Bellamy's soul once they've arrived.

Her mind inevitably drifts to her conversation with Raven.

 _You guys could be happy in our universe too, you know. If you just tell him how you feel._

Clarke glances at Bellamy. She wouldn't even know where to start. How can she possibly tell him how she feels when what she feels is _so much_? But then there are probably three words she could say that would mostly sum up all of that. Whether or not she has the courage to say them or not is an entirely different story.

They reach the mountains, and Bellamy drives for another twenty minutes before pulling into a concealed dirt road. He only slows a little as the dirt road winds them up further into the mountains, and the trees get thicker as they climb. Eventually he pulls into another road, which Clarke quickly realises is a driveway. The driveway is cloaked in trees, but all of a sudden, the trees are behind them, and in front of them is a house. Although Clarke isn't sure if house is the right word for it. It's all squares and rectangles, made from mostly glass and timber. It's truly enormous. Back in her own world, her parents had been quite rich, but this is another thing entirely. Does she _live_ here? Or does Bellamy? Or do they both live here?

Bellamy turns the car off.

"We made it," he grins. "I never should have doubted you."

Clarke has no idea what he's talking about.

"Let's get the stuff and take it inside. We can decide what to do with the car later," Bellamy says. Clarke nods and gets out of the car. Bellamy hands her a small duffel bag from the backseat and she takes it, before following him towards the house, his own duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

Bellamy leads Clarke to the glass door and a light comes on above them. Bellamy puts his hand on a metal plate on the door where it joins the wall. The door seems to recognise his touch and slides open. Definitely his house then. He grabs her hand and pulls her inside, lights coming on around them automatically, and then his mouth is on hers, kissing her hungrily. It doesn't even occur to Clarke to stop him.

He pulls away, grinning, his eyes sparkling like diamonds. "Should we count the money first?" he winks. "See how much we got? I reckon we've got enough this time to last us another five years. They'll give up on trying to find us, and then when we'll strike again when they least expect it."

Clarke is starting to get the feeling she and Bellamy aren't exactly law-abiding citizens in this world. She opens the duffel bag and peeks inside. It's stuffed with cash.

"We stole all this money," she says.

"You're damn right we did. You want to count it first or have sex in it first?"

Clarke takes a deep breath. This seems as good a time as any to take her Bellamy's soul from this one. But first she wants to try something. Just to see if she can.

"Bellamy," she says. "There's something I want to tell you. It might seem out of context or crazy to you I don't know. But just let me say this and then we can go back to being normal. Whatever that is for us."

Bellamy nods seriously. "Okay, babe. What is it?"

Clarke opens her mouth, hesitates, and inhales sharply. "I…" she starts. She swallows. She can do this. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

Bellamy stares at her for a moment before breaking out into a grin. "I know, babe. I love you too."

Clarke gives a small smile. That's probably a better response than she could have hoped for. A better response than she's likely to get from the real Bellamy.

"Okay," she says. She pulls the Firebird from around her neck and presses it to Bellamy's arm.

"What's that?" he asks. "You nick that too?"

"Sure," Clarke says. She zaps him and he flinches.

"Ow," he says. "What was that for? What does that thing do?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Clarke says, putting the Firebird back around her neck. She shrugs. "Or maybe you would."

"You're not making any sense."

Clarke grimaces. There will be two very confused people in this room in a second. But that's not her problem anymore. She's finally going to see Bellamy. _Her_ Bellamy.

She presses home.

* * *

She jerks into her own body. Her real body. She's exactly where she was before she left, lying in her bed. Only, presumably, it's a few days later. It's the middle of the night, but Clarke doesn't waste a second before she's up, running through the house to find Raven.

"Raven!" she yells. "Raven!" she heads for Raven's room, and Raven yanks the door open before Clarke can barge in. She pulls Clarke into a hug.

"You're back, thank god!" she says. Monty appears in the doorway of his own room.

"Clarke!" he exclaims, before throwing himself into the hug.

"I've got him," Clarke says, pulling away. "I've got all the pieces of his soul. Did you get the last piece?"

"Yes!" Raven says. "It was so cool, Clarke! I got to go up in space and—"

"Raven, I'm really happy for you, but can we get Bellamy back first, and then you can tell me all about it."

"Right, sorry."

"So how do we put him back together?"

"You need to put all the pieces back into one of the other Bellamys," Raven says. "Zap him with both Firebirds and his whole soul should take over the body of the other Bellamy. Then you can come back here together."

"Okay," Clarke nods. She checks the time on her phone. 2:05am. The only Bellamys she'll be close to at that time are the one in the universe where they're married, or the one where they're criminals. The married universe seems safer. "Okay," she says again. "I'll go to the one where Bellamy and I were married. The one you came to."

Raven fetches the other Firebird from her nightstand and hands it to Clarke.

"Where's Octavia?" Clarke asks, realising she's going to want to see her brother as soon as possible.

"We sent her home. I'll text her and tell her to come over," Raven says. Clarke nods. She clutches a Firebird in one hand, the other hanging around her neck. She feels nervous all of a sudden. Raven fiddles with the one around her neck, inputting the coordinates. She drops the Firebird and hits Clarke's skin, feeling warm despite being made of metal.

Raven grabs Clarke by the shoulders. "Go get him," she says. Clarke presses go.

* * *

She jolts awake, lying in bed next to a shirtless, sleeping Bellamy. Hands shaking, she presses both Firebirds to his chest. This is it. The moment she gets him back. She presses the required button on both Firebirds, sending a shock through Bellamy's body.

He gasps like he's coming back from the dead, and maybe he is. His eyes fly open. He lies there, breathing heavily, Clarke sitting above him. He looks up at her.

"Clarke?" he says hoarsely.

"Bellamy?" she whispers. "Is that you?"

"Yes," he says, sitting up. "It's me. I—"

He's cut off by Clarke throwing her arms around him. "I thought I'd lost you forever," she whispers against his shoulder. She feels herself welling up, but she does her best to keep the tears at bay. Now isn't the time.

"What happened?" he asks.

"We can talk about it later," Clarke says. "We should get home first. Being in other people's bodies is starting to creep me out."

Bellamy nods, but he still seems a little dazed. Clarke slips one of the Firebirds around his neck and puts the other around her own.

"Just press home, okay?" she says. She watches him fumble for the button. His thumb hovers over it.

"At the same time," he says. Clarke nods. They press home.

* * *

She falls to the floor in the hallway with a heavy thud, and immediately looks around for Bellamy, not caring about the bruises she likely has from the fall. Raven and Monty are still in the hallway and they both snap to attention when Clarke appears.

"Where is he?" she asks frantically. It must have worked. It had to.

"He'll be wherever he was whenever he first used the Firebird," Raven says. "Your body doesn't move or disappear, it just becomes intangible."

Clarke thinks for a moment before she remembers. "Outside!" she shouts. She scrambles from the floor with a little help from Raven and Monty and the three of them race through the house and fly through the front door.

Bellamy stands in the front yard, brushing himself off in the moonlight. Clarke doesn't stop running. She flings herself at him, her arms circling around his neck as she pulls him as close as physically possible. She buries her head into his shoulder, insurmountable relief washing over her. Bellamy's arms wrap around her and he squeezes her tightly.

She breathes in his familiar scent and lets the warmth of his body envelop her. This is her Bellamy, and no other Bellamy could ever compare, no matter how alike in looks or personality. She feels like she doesn't ever want to let go.

"Don't ever leave me again," she tells him. Bellamy laughs.

"I promise," he replies.

Monty clears his throat. "Uh, guys? We missed Bellamy too."

Clarke reluctantly pulls away and let's both Raven and Monty get their hugs in.

"Octavia?" Bellamy asks anxiously.

"She's on her way over," Raven says. "She's fine."

Bellamy nods, relieved.

"Come on," Raven says. "I think we could all use a drink."

Back inside, Monty pours them each a cup of homemade moonshine, and they all choke on the first sip. Octavia arrives a couple of minutes later and they convene in the living room.

"So can someone please explain what the hell happened to me?" Bellamy asks. Clarke sits beside him on the couch, far enough away that she doesn't have to touch him. Now that her overwhelming relief has died down a little, she remembers all the unsaid things between them. The fact that he's still supposed to be moving across the country, despite his earlier promise, likely said in the heat of the moment. She doubts he intends to keep that promise.

"There was a fault with the Firebird you used. One of the wires had frayed, and when you tried to follow Octavia, you got splintered," Monty explains. "Into five parts."

Bellamy frowns in confusion, but no one except Clarke seems to notice his reaction.

"Two questions," Octavia interjects. "Why five? And why those particular worlds?"

"We're unsure about the number," Monty says. "Perhaps that's as many pieces as a soul can break into without being completely shattered."

"As for why you got sent to those particular universes," Raven says. "As far as we can tell, you were worried about Octavia and so you were probably thinking about her when you left. So we think the Firebird took you to the universes where you loved her the most."

"But I made it to the first universe," Bellamy says. "When I figured out Octavia wasn't there I tried to come back home, but I couldn't."

"Oh," Monty frowns. "I guess the wire must have come loose on the journey there then. And you were probably still thinking about her when you were trying to come home, right?"

Clarke doesn't miss the glance Bellamy gives her. "Right," he agrees. Clarke meets Raven's eyes and Raven raises an eyebrow.

"You know what?" Raven says loudly. "It's pretty late, we should all be getting to bed. Octavia, you can share my bed if you want." She stands up and ushers Octavia out of the room. Monty gets the hint and follows.

Clarke and Bellamy sit in a heavy silence. Clarke can hear the words she needs to say going around in her head, but she can't seem to spit them out.

"You want to know what happened when I got to the other universe?" Bellamy asks. Clarke nods. Anything to drown out the sound of her heart beating so heavy. "I kind of… fell into this new body. I was alone in an apartment, and I searched the whole place for Octavia but she wasn't there, so I found my phone and called her. My passcode was the same as it is here, Octavia's birthday," he smiles.

"She didn't pick up. Then I called Lincoln, but he didn't pick up either," Bellamy continues. "Then I called everyone else in my contacts. No one knew where she was. They must have thought I was crazy. I checked her apartment where she lives in this universe, but she didn't live there in that universe. So I went home and just tried calling her over and over.

Then I tried to call you. I thought it was weird that I hadn't already, considering I'd called everyone in my contacts. But when I scrolled through again, you weren't there."

"We aren't friends in that universe," Clarke explains. "We kind of hate each other."

"Yeah, I figured that out. Anyway, I eventually got onto Octavia at like eight am the next day," Bellamy shakes his head. "She said she'd had the weirdest experience where she sort of vaguely remembered the past day but not actually being the one who did any of it. It wasn't hard to figure out that the real Octavia had been and gone."

"Raven said that to me in one of the other universes," Clarke says. "It's like the host body is aware of everything that's happening the whole time someone else is in their mind. It's creepy."

"Yeah," Bellamy snorts. "I wanted to call you again then, to tell you Octavia was back home. It was a dumb impulse, because I realised I just had to press the home button and I would be able to see you. So I did, and I guess that's when I got splintered."

"And then I saved your life, so you're welcome," Clarke rolls her eyes. Bellamy gives her shoulder a light knock with his own.

"Clarke, what I'm trying to say is," he pauses. "I wasn't thinking about Octavia when I pressed that home button. I was thinking about you."

Clarke stares at him. Her heart beats erratically. Is he trying to say what he thinks he's trying to say? "So…" she swallows. "Raven's theory…" she trails off. Is he trying to say he loves her? Could she even dare to hope it?

"Complete bullshit," Bellamy shakes his head. Clarke looks down, the words like a punch in the stomach. Of course he doesn't love her. At least, not like that. He puts his hand against her cheek softly, making her look up again. He looks into her eyes, and Clarke feels like she could drown.

"I refuse to believe," Bellamy says, "that there is any universe in which I love you more than I do in this one."

Clarke's mouth drops open. "You love me?"

"Of course I do," he says fiercely. Clarke shakes her head, at a loss for words. Then Bellamy strokes her cheek with his thumb, and it comes away wet. She hadn't even realised she was crying.

"Hey," he says gently, "you okay?"

Clarke nods. "Yes," she says, breathless. She surges forward then, her lips parting as they meet his. She grips him tightly as she kisses him, almost afraid that if she lets go he'll evaporate and she'll find that none of this was real. He kisses her back, his lips and tongue like a caress.

She pulls away, smiling, though she still has tears in her eyes. "I love you too," she tells him. "I was going to tell you first, I swear, but—"

"You did," Bellamy cuts her off.

"What?"

"You said it first," he says. Clarke stares at him, bewildered. "In that house, after we stole all that money."

"How do you know that?"

"I was there," he says. "I mean, technically I guess I said it first. In the universe where we were married. But I wasn't in control of the body, and you were in control of the body when you said it so—"

"You were _aware_?" Clarke says incredulously. "You remember everything that happened?"

"Yes," he says. "I didn't at first, but I remember it all now. God, it was a nightmare, being trapped inside my own body, knowing you were there but unable to actually talk to you."

"You were there in every universe? You were aware the whole time?"

Bellamy nods.

"When I was a princess and you were my bodyguard? When you were in space and I wasn't? When we were _married_?" Clarke says.

"Yes," Bellamy confirms.

"And you still think this is the universe where you love me the most?"

"Yes," he says again. Clarke shakes her head in disbelief. "I mean, those other Bellamys would probably say the same thing about their own Clarkes. Except maybe the first one. But I love _you_. This version of Clarke."

Clarke smiles happily. "Me too," she says. "I mean, I love this version of you the most too."

"I know."


End file.
